I am really feeling like I respond to way too many 'shoulds' in my life and not enough 'wants.' I have believed for a long time that the 'shoulds' in my life have given me a sense of purpose and made me feel productive. They have also been a good distraction but have also kept me from really listening to my self and finding out who I really am. If I have any free time and can do what I choose, I don't know what to do with myself. It's a mystery to me as to where to start. I spend so much time taking care of other people and not enough time finding out what I want.
Another reason for this search is that I am feeling stuck in my career life. I started a new career 2 years ago after achieving my masters degree and have been laid off twice since due to lack of funding. Now when I think about going back to helping others in my career I feel stuck. I can do the work but is this what I really want? I don't know what direction I will take or even if I am on the right path.
For years I have tried finding joy and comfort in doing what everyone else has wanted me to do and honestly it really hasn't worked. I have a nice family, a nice home, supportive friends yet I still feel confused about my future and what it is I want.
So I will journal my path to finding and exploring the 'wants' in my life and see where it takes me......
